Hardest Things To Do In Life As An Adult
Affective Forecasting. Our emotions are always in a state of flux so understanding what impact our current decisions will have in the future is probably one of the biggest conundrums in life. We can never accurately predict when our seemingly innocuous decisions will come haunt us in the future.
Some things I often think about right now, unsure how I’d feel about these in the future:-
- Not having kids
- Selling myself to the corporate devil
- Constantly doing things that make me happy
- Rapidly climbing Maslow’s hierarchy of needs without looking back (at my roots)
- Taking decisions that help me in the short term
No matter which direction I decide to take around these, I hope I eventually don’t have looming ‘what if’ musings and a sense of inescapable remorse about these in the future.
Going Easy On Ourselves. I still can’t tell if I was fortunate (or wretched) to keep getting the proverbial ‘mama giraffe kick’ since I was born.
On the upside, this set me up for success in life by giving me the emotional strength and courage to hold this thing called life by the horns and take on everything it presented in stride - on the downside, it led me to believe that I was strong enough to be a ‘one (wo)man army’. Being seen as weak will make me weak. WRONG.
I feel a nuclear fusion power inside me that’s waiting to be unleashed that while gives me a strong drive to keep going relentlessly but what also causes a constant implosion and strong burnout inside. This causes me to turn my blinkers on and to be too harsh on myself.
I need to constantly remind myself:-
- It’s okay to be relax and be in the moment
- You’ve come so far, pat yourself on the back!
- Do things that make you happy
- Don’t be so uptight
- Cry, be weak - let it all out
Fighting our fears. Fighting some of my darkest fears has been the most arduous things I’ve ever had to do.
My fears have a kaleidoscopic spectrum and range from being frivolous to causing existential threat.
- Learning how to drive in the US (thankfully conquered!)
- Learning how to ski (almost conquered)
- Presenting in high stake meetings at work (work in progress, getting there)
- Eventually becoming fat (I’d rather die)
- Not being loved (keeps me up at night)
- Abandonment issues (living in the US while family residing in India)
- Pushing away people I love
- Being emotionally unavailable
- Giving in to my rage
- Having stunted intellectual growth
Well, the list goes on….
I am still petrified by the list above but remembering these are rather magnified in my head and in reality the first small step might be a big step in the journey of fighting and eventually conquering these. Sometimes, just showing up or taking the first step or being the first to say sorry or just pausing for a moment might be a simple way to go about it. START SMALL, START FAST.
